10 lessons from your tween


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By Dr Richard C. Woolfson

He may be the young and inexperienced child, and you may be the wise parent, but here are 10 things you can learn from your soon-to-be teenager:

1. how to be happy Unlike most adults, the typical child has a very natural and uncomplicated approach to happiness. He rarely needs grand gestures, expensive gifts or elaborate arrangements to make him feel good. His route to happiness is uncomplicated and genuine. This can help remind you how to take pleasure from the simple things in life.

2. how to be “green” Almost certainly, he is more aware of ecological issues than you were at his age. He knows all about the need to save the planet’s resources instead of wasting them. His eco-consciousness is inspiring and can encourage you to think more about recycling and energy-saving techniques.

3. how to care for others Children are caring by nature, and have an instinctive desire to help others, whether their best friend directly or others indirectly through charity. Your pre-teen has probably already inspired you with one of his school projects, which involved collecting money, clothes, food or toys for deprived children in another country.

4. how to manage technology Many adults are technophobes – new IT gadgets tend to engender apprehension rather than excitement. Your child, on the other hand, has the opposite reaction, and he is much more techno-savvy than you. That’s why he can help you set up the Xbox Kinect or find your way around in your iPad.

5. how to be creative He hasn’t yet acquired the inhibitions of adulthood. He’s not afraid to put paint to paper (when did you last do this?), make a clay model or build a contraption with cardboard, glue and sticky tape. Watching him put his imagination into practice could motivate you to be creative with new ideas.

6. how to cope with problems Believe it or not, your primary schooler works his ways through life’s little challenges several times a day, without complaining or falling apart. He just gets on with it, whether that means sharpening his pencil when it breaks or when he doesn’t get chosen for the football team. Rather than give up easily, he picks himself up and gets on with life.

7. how to learn new skills You may be afraid to take up a new hobby or learn a new skill because of your age. He doesn’t have such self-doubts. If he wants to take part in a brand new activity, that’s exactly what he does. He throws himself into it wholeheartedly, and this willingness to try is a good example for you to copy.

8. how to simplify difficulties Your child generally takes a simple approach when it comes to solving a problem: He looks for the easiest solution. Compare that with your own approach, which probably involves looking at the problem from a thousand different angles, eventually rendering you unsure of which route to take. In contrast, he just selects the most obvious path.

9. how to laugh It doesn’t take a lot to make your nine-year-old guffaw – slapstick humour can have him bellowing with laughter in seconds. He doesn’t need to listen to the latest TV comedian in order to chuckle. The next time you see him laughing loudly, try to join in with his delight. You’ll find that the more you do this, the more you will laugh, too.

10. how to make friends He forms new social relationships very easily and instinctively trusts other children, unless they are unpleasant towards him. He looks for a common interest, or a game that they both want to play. Adults often struggle to make new friends because they allow previous negative social experiences to influence them too much.

From Young Parents issue

10 lessons from your tween

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