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Send your child a love note


By Dr RIchard C. Woolfson

There are many ways to encourage your six-year-old. You could tell her she is wonderful, give her a hug when she has achieved a specific goal, buy her a present as a reward for doing well in tests, and brag about her achievements to Grandma and Grandma.

Another way, however, is to send her little notes saying how much you love her and how you think she is fabulous. Here are some ways you can encourage your child:

·        In her lunch box She’ll be surprised to find a loving note from you when she opens it. That makes the eating experience much more fun.
·        Under her pillow She’ll be very happy to read your praise just before she falls asleep. She’ll probably place it back there.
·        In her school bag This can be especially effective in boosting her confidence just before a class test.
·        In her pocket Sometimes, you can leave a note – telling her much you love her – in her skirt or pants pocket, which she’ll find sooner or later.
·        As a text message or e-mail Electronic notes are just as delightful as written ones.
·        Through the post Children this age love getting letters. Your child will be very excited as she tears open the envelope or reads a postcard from you.
·        As a post-it note These are particularly useful because they can be stuck anywhere, and are easily removed.
 
 

LESS IS MORE

 

Remember that the notes don’t have to be very long or detailed. A few words such as “Good luck”, “I know you will do well”, “You are terrific” or “I love you” are all that is required. They can be tailored to a specific event, such as a class test or an athletics competition, or very general in nature. What matters is that you make the effort to write such supportive, loving and encouraging comments. This boosts your child’s confidence and self-esteem. In addition, it enhances the emotional connection between the both of you, and lets her know you are thinking of her even when you can’t be with her.
 
You may be pleasantly surprised to discover that your child keeps every single love note from you, perhaps in a special tin or box. These written gestures are permanent reminders that you value and love her, and she will like reading the notes again and again, long after you first sent them. That’s further proof of their psychological importance.
 
 

TIME IT RIGHT

 

Like all forms of praise and encouragement, however, sending love notes will start to lose its positive effect if used too often. It’s a question of balance. So, the more unpredictable, the better.
 
Don’t send encouraging notes at the same time each day, nor for the same occasion every time. Instead, use them randomly. That way, your child will always be pleasantly surprised when she receives them – they are more fun when they aren’t expected. On the other hand, if you know she faces a specific challenge, do your best to send the loving note so that she receives it just before the event.

 

From Young Parents issue
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