Who's the Picky One?

Is your child really a fussy eater, or are your expectations too high? Young Parents explores the issue.

It takes Ashima Sharma a couple of hours to feed her six-year-old. Little Ishita eats just one meal a day. "How long can she go on a glass of milk and bread?" the 33-year-old stay-at-home mother says in frustration.

Diane Lim's five- and three-year-olds, on the other hand, can't stand purple vegetables. "I've hidden it by squashing, mashing, baking, frying and poaching. Nothing works. The eldest starts to feel 'pukish' the moment I mention brinjal!" says the self-employed 30-year-old, who also has a two-month-old.

But which of these children is truly picky? Many parents would say all of them. In a Kids Nutrition Survey in 2007 by Abbot Nutrition, 60 per cent of 214 local mums polled said their child was a picky eater.

Dr Nancy Tan, a paediatrician at the SBCC Baby & Child Clinic, says about half her cases are children who are mentally and physically active, but aren’t interested in feeding themselves. They may take a bite or two, or be too distracted to finish.

Of the other half, 40 per cent of the cases involve children who aren't fussy, but who have parents who think they are. The remaining 10 per cent have an illness that affects feeding.

WHAT'S EATING YOU?

Dr Chan Poh Chong of the National University Hospital explains the difference: "If your child is eating one meal a day – and if the meal is adequate in terms of being a nutritionally balanced diet – he’s not being picky. I would not label a child who takes only carrots, potatoes and brinjals – but not green, leafy vegetables – a picky eater. But you should still try and feed him greens." (Dr Chan is head and senior consultant at the Adolescent Medicine Service at NUH's University Children's Medical Institute.)

If Junior suddenly wants to eat mangoes or bananas for breakfast, lunch and dinner, there's no need to panic, he says. It's just a food phase. But see a doctor if he becomes weak, sick or is not growing well.

Ishita, for instance, is underweight by 1kg and has fainted twice at school because she doesn't have enough energy. Dr Chan notes that fussy feeders usually develop after the weaning stage, until the age of four. The problem usually resolves itself by the preschool years.

That's why it's important to wean with patience, say the experts. And if you force- feed or threaten to take away food, your kid will associate mealtimes with negative behaviour, says Dr Chan.

Instead, foster good eating habits. That means no grazing between meals, no TV during meals, and no running about while they're being fed. Seat your child in a high chair or at the table and keep him there for no more than 30 minutes. Start a food diary and observe how much food makes Junior feel full, Dr Chan suggests. "The child should decide if he is full, not the parents," he says.

Read the August 2010 issue of Young Parents for the full story, and more expert tips.