Baby prefers maid: 8 things working mums should do

By Lynn Wee   — January 12, 2017
  • 8 things working mums should do
    1 / 9 8 things working mums should do

    At a recent family gathering, your relatives criticised you for having to rely on your domestic helper to soothe your crying baby or get him to nap.

    The comments made you feel ashamed that you don’t understand your little one as much as your helper does.

    What can you, as a working mum, do to catch up with your maid or win your baby’s trust? Consider these eight pointers from child psychologist, Dr Richard Woolfson. 

    (Click on arrows in photos to find out more) 

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  • 1. Don’t get jealous
    2 / 9 1. Don’t get jealous

    First things first: understand that your baby is capable of forming an emotional bond with more than one adult.

    He might share a connection with your helper, but that doesn’t mean he is unable to establish and maintain one with you.

    Related: From excitement to resentment: Why this new mum hated her life after baby

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  • 2. Get involved in his routine
    3 / 9 2. Get involved in his routine

    Maybe you are tired at the end of a workday and would prefer to flop into a chair, but feeding your little one, or bathing and changing him can bring the two of you closer together. 

    Instead of leaving every baby-care task to your helper, get involved whenever you can – and even more so on days when you’re not working.

    Related: Weekend: Make quality time for your baby

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  • 3. Relax and enjoy
    4 / 9 3. Relax and enjoy

    Have fun together – playing, singing, talking and cuddling – as well. True, parenting is a serious business, but it should also be enjoyable.

    Spend less time worrying about how much the helper can do for your baby, and more time basking in your little one’s company.

    Related: Are you guilty of being a weekend parent to your baby?

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  • 4. Don’t stand back
    5 / 9 4. Don’t stand back

    If your little one is crying, pick him up to soothe him anyway. Don’t leave him with the helper just because you feel that he prefers her. 

    Ignore his initial protest when you carry him and don’t take it personally.

    Related: Help, I have a high-need baby!

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  • 5. Have confidence in yourself
    6 / 9 5. Have confidence in yourself

    Look on your baby’s reaction as normal and healthy. 

    He just needs time to adjust to you and other members in the family.

    Constantly remind yourself that you are an effective, caring parent.

    Related: 10 things every new mum should remember

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  • 6. Talk to your helper
    7 / 9 6. Talk to your helper

    Let her know you want to get more involved with your little one, and ask her to encourage his excitement in anticipation of your return at the end of the day.

    When you are at work, try to find ways to communicate with your kid. 

    For example, you could speak to him on the phone during your lunch break. He’ll recognise the sound of your voice.

    You might even be able to Facetime with him from your smartphone.

    Related: How to choose a maid for baby care

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  • 7. Stop blaming yourself
    8 / 9 7. Stop blaming yourself

    As long as you have a close connection with your child and are confident that your helper takes good care of him while you are away at work, you have nothing to feel guilty about. 

    Instead, feel pleased that you have good childcare arrangements in place.

    Related: Maid looking after baby: How to teach her

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  • 8. Reconsider arrangements
    9 / 9 8. Reconsider arrangements

    If you continue to be troubled by the thought that you are not spending enough time with your baby, no matter how much you reassure yourself, then explore alternative care arrangements.

    You could, perhaps, work part-time instead of full-time, or request to work from home on some days.

    Related: Should I put Baby in infant-care centre?


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