You want the best for your kid, but sometimes, you wonder if you are too hard on your child or pushing your child too much.
Child psychologist Dr Richard C. Woolfson draws up a checklist of possible telltale signs that you may be too hard on your child.
You constantly fight with her
Every parent gets fed up when her child becomes confrontational. However, if you are often in conflict with yours, you could be too harsh with her. It is possible to instil good discipline and set clear boundaries without going head-to-head all the time.
You never have anything positive to say
Even if she is badly behaved throughout the day, there will be times when she is more cooperative. If you usually don’t notice these moments or rarely feel positive about anything she does, you might have forgotten that your four year- old is wonderful.
(Also read: 10 things you should say to your toddler more often)
You feel you never have time for yourself
Try to organise your day so that you can put your feet up for 10 minutes, for instance, when your child watches her favourite programme or plays. This can help you recharge, so make it a priority every day.
You nag all the time
Nobody likes to think she is negative towards her child, but it is easy to fall into this trap. Think about how many times you have nagged her today – maybe you could have ignored some of these instances or made more positive remarks.
You deny her treats
Every child deserves a reward sometimes, for having a particularly good day or just for the sake of it. You don’t have to wait till her birthday or Christmas. You’ll be amazed how a simple, unexpected treat can have a positive effect on the relationship.
You don’t brag about her achievements
She wants to hear you boast to Grandma about her latest triumph – that makes her feel good about herself and closer to you. Every small step forward in her development is worth shouting about.
You avoid hugging
No matter how strained your relationship, make sure to give your child cuddles. Loving, physical contact helps melt away the negatives and puts you both in a caring frame of mind.
You rarely highlight her good behaviour
When you see moments of positive behaviour – irrespective of how demanding she’s been for the rest of the day – make a big fuss of her. Let her know how pleased you are. This allows both of you to realise there are good moments, too.
You can’t wait to tell her dad how naughty she’s been
If you store up your unhappy stories just to bombard your husband, you are probably too harsh with your child. Instead, share positive accounts of how you got on well today.
You feel sorry for yourself because every other kid is better behaved than she is
Your child is no more difficult to care for than another. Steer clear of these negative thoughts and remind yourself of her strengths and abilities.
(Also read: Why mums are so hard on their own children)