10 signs that you’re too hard on your child

December 21, 2018
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    Not sure if you are being too hard on your little one? Child psychologist Dr Richard C. Woolfson draws up a checklist of possible telltale signs.

    Related: Why mums are so hard on their own children

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  • You constantly fight with her
    2 / 11 You constantly fight with her

    Every parent gets fed up when her child becomes confrontational. However, if you are often in conflict with yours, you could be too harsh with her. It is possible to instil good discipline and set clear boundaries without going head-to-head all the time.

     

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  • You never have anything positive to say
    3 / 11 You never have anything positive to say

    Even if she is badly behaved throughout the day, there will be times when she is more cooperative. If you usually don’t notice these moments or rarely feel positive about anything she does, you might have forgotten that your kid is wonderful.

    Related: 10 things you should say to your toddler more often

     

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  • You feel you never have time for yourself
    4 / 11 You feel you never have time for yourself

    Try to organise your day so that you can put your feet up for 10 minutes, for instance, when your child watches her favourite programme or plays. This can help you recharge, so make it a priority every day.

     

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  • You nag all the time
    5 / 11 You nag all the time

    Nobody likes to think she is negative towards her child, but it is easy to fall into this trap. Think about how many times you have nagged her today – maybe you could have ignored some of these instances or made more positive remarks.

    Related: No more nagging: 7 steps to get your child to follow instructions

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  • You deny her treats
    6 / 11 You deny her treats

    Every child deserves a reward sometimes, for having a particularly good day or just for the sake of it. You don’t have to wait till her birthday or Christmas. You’ll be amazed how a simple, unexpected treat can have a positive effect on the relationship.

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  • You don’t brag about her achievements
    7 / 11 You don’t brag about her achievements

    She wants to hear you boast to Grandma about her latest triumph – that makes her feel good about herself and closer to you. Every small step forward in her development is worth shouting about.

    Related: 9 ways to praise your kid

     

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  • You avoid hugging
    8 / 11 You avoid hugging

    No matter how strained your relationship, make sure to give your child cuddles. Loving, physical contact helps melt away the negatives and puts you both in a caring frame of mind.

     

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  • You rarely highlight her good behaviour
    9 / 11 You rarely highlight her good behaviour

    When you see moments of positive behaviour – irrespective of how demanding she’s been for the rest of the day – make a big fuss of her. Let her know how pleased you are. This allows both of you to realise there are good moments, too.

     

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  • You can’t wait to tell her dad how naughty she’s been
    10 / 11 You can’t wait to tell her dad how naughty she’s been

    If you store up your unhappy stories just to bombard your husband, you are probably too harsh with your child. Instead, share positive accounts of how you got on well today.

    Related: When couples have different parenting styles: 5 ways to resolve

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  • You feel sorry for yourself because every other kid is better behaved than she is
    11 / 11 You feel sorry for yourself because every other kid is better behaved than she is

    Your child is no more diffficult to care for than another. Steer clear of these negative thoughts and remind yourself of her strengths and abilities.

    (Photos: 123RF.com)

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