4 ways to help your pessimistic child

April 07, 2017
  • 4 Ways to Help Your Pessimistic Child
    1 / 5 4 Ways to Help Your Pessimistic Child

    You worry that your child is growing up to be quite the pessimist – after all, being optimistic and enthusiastic is much more appealing than being the naysayer.

    A pessimistic child has such a downbeat view of life that she is miserable much of the time; she expects things to go wrong and when something unpleasant does occur, she accepts it without challenge.

    However, your child may not be as cynical as you think; maybe she is just having a difficult time at school or with her friends. To find out if she really is a pessimist, ask yourself the following questions:

    – Does she cry easily when things don’t go according to plan?
    – Does she give up quickly when she tries to learn a new skill?
    – Does a change in her routine always result in her becoming upset?
    – When she has had an argument with her friend, does she take a long time to cheer up?
    – Do her brothers and sisters comment that she moans all the time?
    – When playing with a new game, does she give up without really trying?
    – Is she easily put off by a negative remark from another child or adult?

    If your answer is “yes” to the majority of these questions, then it is highly likely that she is indeed a pessimist.

    That means it’s time for you to encourage her to have a brighter outlook, to have a more positive view of the world around her, and to enjoy life more.
    There’s plenty you can do to help her.

    Related: This is why more Singapore children are stressed

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  • Emphasise her strengths
    2 / 5 Emphasise her strengths

    A lack of self-confidence underlies most pessimistic attitudes.

    It’s not that pessimists think they are hopeless at everything; it’s just that they don’t believe in their ability to cope with minor obstacles.

    So, remind your tween of her positive qualities (her pleasant personality, her caring attitude towards others, her lovely singing voice).

    She may shrug nonchalantly, but your comments make her feel good about herself.

    Related: 4 ways to boost your child’s confidence

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  • 2. Teach her to look for solutions
    3 / 5 2. Teach her to look for solutions

    One of the hallmarks of a kid with a defeatist attitude is that she cannot see answers to the problems she encounters – as a result, even a minor hurdle becomes a major crisis.

    When your tween has a problem, sit down with her and explore all the possible solutions.

    Get her into the habit of searching for ways to solve problems and give her lots of love and support.

    When you’ve had a disagreement with Hubby, you feel sad and miserable, and you feel that the whole world has turned against you.

    But as soon as you resolve your argument, the world seems like a better place to be in.

    The same happens when your child feels rejected by you. Of course, you should reprimand her when she misbehaves, but try not to develop a pattern of nagging. She needs to feel valued by you.

    Related: Teach your child to be self-motivated: Here’s how

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  • Encourage friendships
    4 / 5 Encourage friendships

    She’s more likely to feel upbeat if she has friends who include her in their activities.

    Although children’s relationships with their peers often change, your kid will always want to have at least one other pal with whom she can play.

    Friendships allow kids to share ideas and to talk about common interests.

    They can increase her level of self-confidence and reduce her level of pessimism.

    Related: 7 ways to help your child choose good friends

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  • Take an interest
    5 / 5 Take an interest

    When she returns from school or from any activity away from home, ask her about it and look interested when she replies.

    She loves your attention, even though her answers may be very brief.

    Helping her with her homework (but not doing it for her) also makes her feel important.

    The more interest that you take in her young life, the more valued she will feel.

    Related: 9 ways to praise your kid

    (Photos: 123RF.com)

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