10 things that loving couples in successful marriages do

May 09, 2017
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    Loving relationships are the result of choices. Couples who have a very good relationship are not simply lucky because successful, loving relationships don’t just happen.

    Here are 10 things that successful couples are doing differently to keep their bond healthy and happy:

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  • They enjoy each other
    2 / 11 They enjoy each other

    Successful couples like to be together, talk together, do things together. Former Beatle Ringo Starr has been married to his wife Barbara for more than three decades.

    He says the “secret” to the couple’s longevity is this: “I’m just blessed that she puts up with me. I love the woman. She loves me. There are less down days than up, and we get on really well. We spend a lot of time together. That’s the deal.”

    Related: 23 ways to make your marriage stronger

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  • They're not afraid to fight
    3 / 11 They're not afraid to fight

    Happy couples don’t shy away from fighting. They listen, they argue, they talk, they solve. They fight clean, but they don’t hold back their truth. They figure our their stuff.

    And, after the smoke clears and the fighting is over, all of those little, annoying-as-hell problems seem to vanish.

    Related: 4 habits to keep your marriage happy

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  • They apologise
    4 / 11 They apologise

    Successful couples frankly aren’t interested in wasting every moment bickering. They know that when a fight is over, it’s time to say sorry and get on with their relationship.

    Apologies establish respect, empathy and the fact that your spouse was listening to your woes.

    Related: 5 ways to make up after a fight with your wife or husband

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  • They lean on each other
    5 / 11 They lean on each other

    Happy couples come to each other for comfort, for support and for counsel. They respect each other’s opinion, and trust that they are being heard.

    These couples know that whatever they’re going through, their partner will understand. Or at least try to.

    Related: How acroyoga helped these Singapore parents strengthen their marriage

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  • They don't compare
    6 / 11 They don't compare

    Just like you don’t compare your child to someone else’s, successful couples don’t compare their relationship. Love trumps comparison.

    Their success is only measured by their own opinions, and it is never based on how their friends’ relationships are doing.

    Related: 5 bad habits that could break your marriage

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  • They're in for the long haul
    7 / 11 They're in for the long haul

    Successful couples don’t just make promises to each other; they commit.

    After a marriage that spans 30 years, a couple named Doris and Jim say, “We are happy together because we have lived out our vows – for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.”

    Related: True love in Singapore: How 5 couples stayed married for over 30 years

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  • They take care of themselves
    8 / 11 They take care of themselves

    Successful couples know that the key to taking care of each other is to take care of themselves. They don’t let their emotions pile up and soil the relationship, so whether they see a relationship counsellor together or they seek out their own method of self-help, they get it done.

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  • They don't let the past get in their way
    9 / 11 They don't let the past get in their way

    Successful couples don’t spend their relationship in the past. They choose to be secure in their current relationship. They reflect on their previous experiences, share a few deep moments and light laughs and continue to live in the present.

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  • They know when to take five
    10 / 11 They know when to take five

    Successful couples realise that alone time is an absolute necessity. So, during heated conversations, stressful encounters or any other instance that might merit some alone time, they jump for it.

    They understand that sometimes, a breather may be the best thing to deescalate the moment and salvage the rest of the day.

    Related: Marriage after baby: 7 ways to prevent conflicts

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  • They accept help
    11 / 11 They accept help

    Successful couples accept help in any way, shape or form. Even if it wasn’t exactly the ideal gesture or at the ideal time. Example: If one offers to do the dishes but perhaps didn’t get every single spot, the other won’t turn around to passive aggressively fix it.

    (Photos: 123RF.com)

    A version of this article first appeared in Women’s Weekly.

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