Successful marriages and loving relationships are the result of choices. Couples that have a very good relationship are not simply lucky because successful marriages do not just happen.
The couples that have successful marriages are taking specific actions that people in unsuccessful unions are not taking. Here are some thing that successful couples are doing differently to keep their bond healthy and happy:
They enjoy each other
Couples in successful marriages like to be together, talk together, do things together. Former Beatle Ringo Starr has been married to his wife Barbara for more than three decades. He says the “secret” to the couple’s longevity is this: “I’m just blessed that she puts up with me. I love the woman. She loves me. There are less down days than up, and we get on really well. We spend a lot of time together. That’s the deal.”
They’re not afraid to fight
Happy couples don’t shy away from fighting. They listen, they argue, they talk, they solve. They fight clean, but they don’t hold back their truth. They figure our their stuff. And, after the smoke clears and the fighting is over, all of those little, annoying-as-hell problems seem to vanish.
Couples in successful marriages frankly aren’t interested in wasting every moment bickering. They know that when a fight is over, it’s time to say sorry and get on with their relationship. Apologies establish respect, empathy and the fact that your spouse was listening to your woes.
They lean on each other
Happy couples come to each other for comfort, for support and for counsel. They respect each other’s opinion, and trust that they are being heard. These couples know that whatever they’re going through, their partner will understand. Or at least try to.
They don’t compare
Just like you don’t compare your dog to someone else’s dog, successful couples don’t compare their relationship to someone else’s relationship. Love trumps comparison. Their success is only measured by their own opinions, and it is never based on how their friends’ relationships are doing.
They’re in for the long haul
Couples in successful marriages don’t just make promises to each other; they commit. After a marriage that spans 30 years, a couple named Doris and Jim say, “We are happy together because we have lived out our vows – for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.”
They take care of themselves
Couples in successful marriages know that the key to taking care of each other is to take care of themselves. They don’t let their emotions pile up and soil the relationship so whether they see a relationship counsellor together of they seek out their own individual method of self-help, they get it done.
They don’t let the past get in their way
Couples in successful marriages don’t spend their relationship in the past. They choose to be secure in their current relationship. They reflect on their previous experiences, share a few deep moments and light laughs and continue to live in the present.
They know when to take five
Couples in successful marriages realise that alone time is an absolute necessity. So, during heated conversations, stressful encounters or any other instance that might merit some alone time, they jump for it. They understand that sometimes, a breather may be the best thing to deescalate the moment and salvage the rest of the day.
They accept help
Couples in successful marriages accept help in any way, shape or form. Even if it wasn’t exactly the ideal gesture or at the ideal time. Example: If one offers to do the dishes but perhaps didn’t get every single spot, the other won’t turn around to passive aggressively fix it.