Marriage after kids: 10 ways to make your relationship stronger

By Dr Richard C. Woolfson   — February 13, 2019
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    After the kids come along, you and your spouse may have developed a comfortable way of life that suits you and your kids. But here are 10 things that you should not lose sight to make your marriage stronger.

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  • Stand back and reflect
    2 / 11 Stand back and reflect

    It’s very easy to get so caught up in the daily hustle and bustle of family life, you forget why you rush about so much.

    Stand back and reflect on what you are trying to achieve as parents, about your values and aspirations. That reminds you of the goals you share with your spouse.

    Related: When couples have different parenting styles: 5 ways to resolve

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  • Offering a real listening ear
    3 / 11 Offering a real listening ear

    After years of marriage, couples tend to develop selective hearing – they go into automatic pretend-listening mode when their spouse interrupts their TV viewing with an account of an incident that happened earlier in the day.

    Good communication involves switching off all distractions and listening attentively.

    Related: 5 ways to turn that fight with your husband into a better marriage

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  • Improving intimacy
    4 / 11 Improving intimacy

    Libido is always under threat when you are a parent – the sounds of a screaming child, the prospect of that unexpected knock at the door at the wrong moment, and the general tiredness from the everyday grind can turn intimacy with your spouse into a remote possibility.

    Maybe your kids can stay with Grandma this weekend.

    Related: 5 easy ways to get your husband to help around the house

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  • Share a joke
    5 / 11 Share a joke

    You may find that life with kids is no laughing matter because you spend so much time taking them here and there, rushing them to school and ensuring they do their homework.

    But you and your spouse should always try to find time to share a joke.

    Related: True love in Singapore: How 5 couples stayed married for over 30 years

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  • Go on regular dates
    6 / 11 Go on regular dates

    The very thought of having to arrange a babysitter or getting the kids off to bed at a reasonable hour is enough to make you both decide to stay at home. But go out and have a date anyway, because you are a couple as well as parents.

    Related: 10 best date ideas for parents in Singapore

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  • Take a holiday
    7 / 11 Take a holiday

    You don’t have to spend a fortune travelling to a vacation on the other side of the world. A few days in a resort by the beach can be as enjoyable as a more expensive package holiday.

    Of course there are other things you can spend your hard-earned money on, but book that family holiday anyway.

    Related: Family travel hacks: Visit Maldives on a budget

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  • Spring a surprise
    8 / 11 Spring a surprise

    Everybody loves a gift, especially when it is spontaneous and unexpected. A present when it is not his birthday or any other formal occasion says a lot about your love and regard for him. It is another way of demonstrating that you care.

    Related: Marriage after baby: 7 ways to prevent conflicts

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  • Be each other's pillar
    9 / 11 Be each other's pillar

    You and your spouse are doing well as parents and in the workplace, but you still need each other’s support.

    Comfort from your caring husband might be all that’s needed to get over the emotional fall-out from a squabble with a colleague or a disagreement with your child.

    Related: 8 feng shui tips for the bedroom to improve your marriage

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  • Share some interests
    10 / 11 Share some interests

    You’ll have your interests and your husband will have his – that’s perfectly normal. You don’t have to do everything together or go everywhere as a couple, but it is important to share some interests.

    Maybe you like to go out on walks together, or go to the movies together. Find something in common.

    Related: 5 ways to make up after a fight with your wife or husband

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  • Give love and respect
    11 / 11 Give love and respect

    When you spend a lot of time with somebody, you tend to take him for granted. That’s human nature and that’s always a mistake. It’s hard to respect someone when you have seen him vulnerable and struggling to cope.

    Yet, this continuous respect for each other and what you do will keep your relationship strong.

    Related: 6 Korean couples that are relationship goals

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