Relationships — no matter how seasoned you are — are always a work in progress. So the next time you’re wondering why you and your spouse are constantly fighting, see if anything you’re doing has made it on this list.
1 / 6Load more
2 / 6 You expect him to read your mindLoad more
Sometimes, it’s easier to ask for what you want than to be passive aggressive and expect your partner to know what it is you want.
Here’s one thing we always need to remember when we’re in a relationship: we’re the ones responsible for our own happiness. Not anyone else. So, instead of relying and expecting your partner to make you happy, why not actually ask for what you want and specify it so that your spouse is able to help you better?
3 / 6 You’re always making plans with himLoad more
A good relationship means striking the right balance between couple time and alone time. It doesn’t mean that you have to do everything with him.
A good relationship means that the two of you have some room to go about doing activities on your own or with friends too. Besides, when you’re out doing your own things, it gives you time to miss your spouse and you’ll have loads more to talk about once you’re done.
4 / 6 You compare your relationship to what you see on social mediaLoad more
Ah, social media. While we won’t deny the benefits of social media in our lives, if the Netflix show Black Mirror has taught us anything, it’s that social media can also be pretty damaging to our personal relationships.
These days, couples get a joy out of posting about their relationships online. In fact, they sometimes relish in the likes, comments and popularity their post could get. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the arms of jealousy the next time you see a post with the hashtag #CoupleGoals.
Instead, the next time you catch yourself doing it (and it happens to even the best of us, especially on days like Valentine’s Day), remind yourself of the positive aspects of your relationship.
5 / 6 You’re not politeLoad more
Long-term couples will understand what I mean when I say that being in a long-term relationship sometimes makes you a little more rude to your partner than you intended.
This is because, once you’ve reached a certain level of comfort with your other half, all your manners pretty much get thrown out the window. Instead of saying, “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me” like you use to, you ignore the formalities.
6 / 6 You don’t focus on your partner when he’s aroundLoad more
The next time you’re with your spouse, check and see if you’re actually really there mentally or if you’re just physically there.
These days, we’re always glued to our phones and might not realise that we’re actually ignoring the people around us.
A version of this article first appeared on Singapore Women’s Weekly.