A recent survey of 500 Singaporeans found a startling statistic – in any given week, one in five married people in Singapore think seriously about leaving their spouse.
One in three (34 per cent) feel their partners upset them at least once a week.
The same proportion also say they argue with their partners quite often, including 20 per cent who say these arguments lead to verbal abuse.
What do they fight about?
– Children (46 per cent)
– Money (41 per cent)
– Housework (29 per cent)
– Spending too much time on the computer or phone (28 per cent)
– Being inattentive (27 per cent)
Why do they fight?
Counsellors say that the different backgrounds, cultures and upbringing of couples can cause tension in a relationship. Different parenting styles and knowledge can also lead to problems, says Mr Willy Ho, a counsellor.
He is not surprised that couple fight about housework. He says: “If I don’t want to do the laundry, you don’t want to do the laundry, who is going to do the laundry? Having a helper is a way to solve the issue but helpers do require days off, you cannot rely on them all the time. You still need to do some basic things.”
Mr Ho says that couples should seek help immediately when there is a communication breakdown. “Charged up emotions are disruptive to communication patterns,” he says.
Chairman of Focus on the Family Singapore, Mr James Wong, says couples should spend more time nurturing their relationships. He says: “Currency for the economy is money. The currency for a relationship is time.”
About the 2016 Prudential Relationship Index
More than 5,000 adults aged between 25 and 55 were surveyed from July 13 to July 31 this year to develop the 2016 Prudential Relationship Index, that was revealed last week. The index aims to understand the state of personal relationships in Asia.
People from 10 countries and territories – Cambodia, China, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore, South Korea, Thailand and Vietnam – were interviewed.
The online survey involved 500 residents with household incomes of at least $4,000 a month. Seventy-seven per cent are in a relationship with a partner, including 59 per cent who are married.
Half of them are parents.
What is valued
– are easy to get along with
– are comfortable in each other’s silence
– enjoy doing things together
– respect individuality
– have honesty
More men than women in Singapore feel that close bonding is one of the most important aspects in a partnership and want their ideal partner to express their love for them.
– 15 per cent think that an ideal partner would provide financial support.
– Singapore has the most number of singles in Asia at 23 per cent.
– Of those aged 40 or above, 17 per cent are single, have never married and are without a partner.
A version of this article first appeared in The New Paper