Letting go of mum guilt allowed Judith Knight, Founder of Wings Therapy and Learning Centre, to achieve work-life balance.
“I really love my children and I love my job. My job was never more important than my kids, but it took me many years to let go of my guilt,” shares Judith, who has three kids aged 20, 12 and 10.
“Over time, I learnt that there is a way for both parts of my life to live harmoniously. I got over the guilt by appreciating and telling myself, ‘I am doing the best that I can’.”
Find out how she did it.
Relax and let go
I didn’t go to every single concert, game, or parent volunteer opportunity; there are a gazillion of them! I had to pick and choose, so I made it a point of going to the ones that I knew were significant. The most important thing is that your child knows that you care about them and love them. And above all, they know that you’ll be there for them when they need it most.
Let go of perfection and quit competing
Unfortunately, being a mum doesn’t come with a handbook. This also means that there is no right way to parent. Don’t buy into the ‘how to be a perfect parent’ mentality, it’s more realistic to do things on your own terms and in your own authentic way. Learn to accept and appreciate the efforts that you make for your kids, this will lift the guilt off your shoulders and allow you to enjoy every part of motherhood, including the chaos of it all!
Remember why you’ve chosen this path
When you choose to combine motherhood and career, it is important to be crystal clear about why you made this decision in the first place. Create a list of the reasons you work: money, satisfaction, sanity. This will serve as a helpful reminder, especially when the guilt creeps in. While I sometimes unable to be as involved with my kids; activities as might seem ideal, I am very clear that my kids, my family and myself, are better off because I have a rewarding career outside the home.
Judith recently received a Great Women of Our Time 2018 award (Public Service & Education) from the Singapore Women’s Weekly. Read more about the other winners here.
A version of this article appeared on The Singapore Women’s Weekly.