Young Parents Team
You secretly love your baby more than your husband – and if you’re honest, you’ll admit to yourself that you’d rather spend all your time with her.
Who cares about date nights and intimacy? Your baby is all you want.
If that sounds like you, it’s time for a rethink! Here are 10 reasons why it’s important to have couple time:
1. YOU’RE PART OF A FAMILY UNIT
While some single parents choose to have a child on their own, you have a husband and, therefore, there are three of you in your family. You had your baby as a couple and you’ll raise her as a couple. So you should take your relationship with him seriously.
2. YOU STILL LOVE HIM
Your baby is so special that you start to believe she’s all you need in the world. But you’re a spouse as well as a parent. And as you start to regain balance in your life, you’ll realise that you love your husband as much as before the little one arrived.
3. DATE NIGHTS ARE FUN
True, exhaustion, diapers and baby vomit can make the prospect of a date night seem too much of an effort. You’d rather flop down in an armchair and snooze. Yet if you do make the effort, you’ll find that you enjoy a night out much more than you thought.
Related: First night out without your baby
4. YOU CAN LOVE MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT A TIME
The fact that you adore your new baby doesn’t mean you have less love for Hubby.
5. RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE LOOMS AHEAD
No matter what you think, lack of interest and intimacy in your relationship with your husband will eventually cause increasing tension between you. Nobody likes to feel rejected. So cutting him out will create problems for your relationship sooner than you imagine.
6. BABY WANTS MUM AND DAD TO LOVE EACH OTHER
She lives in a two-parent unit and thrives best when they love each other. If one of you is unhappy, she’ll sense that and become miserable, too. It’s in her best interest to have ahappy, loving home.
Related: 7 ways to babyproof your marriage
7. YOU ENJOYED INTIMACY BEFORE
The presence of your newborn hasn’t fundamentally changed your basic sexual needs, although the exhaustion of early parenthood has probably dulled them. You enjoyed that part of your life before, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy it again.
8. FAMILY LOVE IS NOT A COMPETITION
You don’t need to have a favourite. You love your spouse in a different way from how you adore your child, so don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need to choose one over the other.
9. YOUR KID WILL GROW UP FASTER THAN YOU REALISE
She’ll soon become independent from you. That’s inevitable. At that point, you may suddenly remember the importance of your marital relationship and may regret neglecting it.
10. THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN PARENTHOOD
Being a mum is a very special experience. But so is being a spouse in a loving relationship. Each of these roles adds something unique to your life, and you’ll lose out in the long-term if you define yourself exclusively as a parent and nothing more.
Related: 10 things every new parent should do